Thoughts on life

Sometimes things in life don't pan out in the way you expect them to. Sometimes decisions are made that though major, are made under stress or excess emotional circumstances that affect every day of your life. Far more than you ever realise they will, with far reaching consequences that will last until the day you die.

Attempts to put right those decisions are often frustrating and futile, but you persevere in the hope that one day the cuts from the thorns will bring the sweet scent of the rose petals to the fore.

Rather like that first ray of sunlight that filters through the leaden grey winter sky, the first song of the birds of summer, that refreshing first drop of thundery rain from the humid sky of midsummer, every so often something happens that jerks you back to that vivid reality that is life. Like a wave washing over you, it makes you realise that it has all been worthwhile.

It is then you realise that there is more than just you involved. There are others, with feelings that need considering, with different perspectives on the same thing. Others who deserve to be protected from hurt, yet are also bugged by that same quest, the same curiosity, and the same wantonness of completeness in their life. Others, who through no fault of their own are in the situation that they are in; who will be facing equally strong inner struggles, equally disruptive additions to their life, regardless of how good or bad those additions are.

These are things that wreak havoc with the grey matter, keep it turning over at a rate of knots, the subconscious working overtime trying to work out the best solution to the situation that presents itself. Ever aware, the pondering continues even when you are asleep. On the one hand your mind sees nothing but a positive outcome, a future of happiness and joy, filled with love and adventure. On the other it sees fear of the unknown, excited nervousness, which leads to feelings of inadequacy, dread of change, even a degree of paranoia.

Impatience being a human trait, once the thorns thin out and the rose petals become visible, it is so hard not to charge ahead, full steam ahead like a bull in the proverbial china shop. No, caution is needed, indeed is required in order to let those butterflies subside and for common sense and logic to take over. Time for others to think things through; to work out those monumental decisions according to their perspective. Hopefully everyone reaches the same decision.

Nothing in life is achieved by playing safe. Striking out down a different path can be very scary, but can also bring renewed vigour and excitement to life. It takes courage, it takes perception and a certain amount of daring, but more often than not it brings far greater rewards than just playing safe. Adds that certain pizzazz to life. Brings new chances, new opportunity, new verve. And a satisfying of the curious within us all as we turn that corner and hit the next straight running.

Blogging by candle light

I figure that as everyone else is doing this blogging I had better do so too. OK, so I have a website full of stories and such like, but the blog barely gets read, so it may be better served somewhere meant for blogging alone.

Inspired by the likes of Flight Level 390 and Cockpit Conversation I have now to find something to write about I guess!

Most of my writing is done late at night; the side of my mind responsible for writing seems to function better in the wee small hours. It may be that the mind is sleepy and more able to write with the stresses of the day numbed by thoughts of bed and escape from attempting to find solutions for one problem or another. A kind of autopilot left to keep an aircraft on height and heading through an inky black sky whilst the pilot concentrates on other things.

Avgas for Dinner - why that title?

I shall copy below something I wrote a year or two back now. It goes a good way to describing how those machines that run on avgas make me feel...


The recent rain shower had washed the sky and sharpened the outlines of the gently rounded clouds, puffy and white.

As we turned east along the coast the water reflected back the blueness of the sky, the occasional glint of sunshine waving back at the aeroplane flying above.
The low autumn sunshine wrapped its softness around the buildings on the sea front, giving them a soft warm glow as the pastel colours were interspersed with the odd startling bright red and blue fronted property.

The beach was busy with people from all backgrounds.

Children playing, frolicking in the warm sunshine, playing dare with the breaking waves.

Couples out for a lunchtime walk, hand in hand, breaking their cloak of romance to look up at the aviator kissing the air above them.

The breakwaters were being lapped by turquoise waves, as fishermen sat astride the gnarled wooden beams, hoping for that elusive catch to match their proud boast.

Boats flirted with the waves just as I teased the air around me, gazing at the white cliffs ahead, outlined in golden sunlight against the green of the land and the blue of the sky. The cliffs are almost like Neptune’s crown from a distance, dazzling in their splendour, regally standing proud, resolute and sure.

As we guide our wings inland, the scenery changes, soft greens of the downland broken by patches of brown, freshly ploughed fields attracting the seagulls, solitary farmers working til dusk, happy in their solitude, surrounded by nature.

The walls of a castle reach upward unbeaten, in contrast to the fresh red brick of housing estates so new, so brash, so out of place from the view up above. Beautiful mansions enclosed by even more resplendent gardens, chlorine stained pools shouting out their presence, sheep grazing peacefully, their white coats like daisies against the deep green of the pastures.

Ablaze with colour, so red, so orange and yellow, so fiery, the trees are a sight to fill eyes with joy. Their leaves scatter the fields, a carpet fit for royalty as we reach our destination, suddenly busy, hectic, frenetic.

A silver and yellow Moth performs for us as we approach downwind, looping with delight at winters respite. We land our mobile viewing platform and wander to quench our thirst, surrounded by people enjoying the sun’s welcome radiance.
The café is busy, full of colour and chatter, the nerves of aspiring parachutists mixing with the adrenalin of those already brave enough to have jumped. Wives, girlfriends and husbands congratulate their partners, that faraway look pervading their eyes, ‘I wonder, just wonder, if I could have done it too’.

Our eyes look skyward and watch the next jump plane disgorge its contents, bodies barely visible falling earthward so fast, before colourful canopies open, like multi coloured tulips against the pale blue sky, the descent arrested, the relief from the crowd all consuming.

A warbird appears as the drop zone is cleared, a lustrous red and silver machine, engine growling as it reaches for the sky. Before arrowing earthward it rolls its splendorous wings as it fights with the air, propeller twisting to keep it in place. Loops, rolls and stall turns accompanied by the background symphony of that wondrous engine, the sound from the radial music to all ears. A low pass to show off her belly, the Russian dancer of the sky waves us goodbye and we realise this day for us, has also to end.

Clawing the still cool air, we head for base, throttle back, level off and smile.

This is why we fly, these perfect days were just made for it.

If I achieve nothing else I have achieved my ultimate dream.